Making Progress

  We are nearing the 2 month mark since coming home with Mia (11/17).  I truly cannot believe how far we have come in such a short time.  I am sure for those of you reading this it would be easy to think everything has gone perfectly.  Looking at the pictures and the video and even I forget the early struggles. 

For starters, I am amazed at how well we communicate with our new daughter now.  I remember the first day with her and feeling overwhelmed with the realization that I have a new child and she is 7 and I can understand NOTHING she says and of course the same goes for her.  

In those first few hours, Mia babbled (at least that's what it sounded like to me) on and on and I remember panicking and looking to our guide/translator for advice.  Even though I knew in my head we would not be able to carry on a conversation, I didn't fully realize how that was going to play out the first few days.  

Lots of people do what we have done and somehow they make it through.  It can't be that hard I would tell myself.  Well, I was wrong, it was hard and overwhelming.  I looked to our guide as to how I should respond to her chattering.  Our guide told me, "just smile and nod."  

Even though that was probably the right answer I cannot tell you how small that made me feel. How long would I have to "just smile and nod."  Somehow this felt wrong yet it was the only answer. 

And how did Mia react with not being able to communicate with us?  Much better then me:)  I remember thinking at least I knew this was coming.  Did she have any idea that she would not understand a word her new family was saying?  I asked our guide if she had been prepared for this part.  Did she know that this was going to be part of the package of her adoption into our American family?  Our guide's response, "well she knows now."  

Now 2 months later and I can honestly say I almost never have to "just smile and nod."  Communication has come that far.  In fact, on the rare occasion I really can't tell what she is saying I have to remind myself that it is still okay to "just smile and nod" once in a while. Otherwise, I can actually make the situation more frustrating for Mia by forcing her to explain herself over and over. 

Whenever someone is around to translate what she is saying, I am reminded that she is not just babbling but really does have good and even funny things to say. 

 Here is a video of Mia seeing her bedroom for the first time.  I found out that in the video she was saying, "This America...it's pretty good."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnuT8MTZSuA&feature=youtu.be

 Another area that Mia has made progress is with writing and drawing.  Her file written on Aug. 2011 had mentioned that she was not writing yet.  However, I thought for sure that almost a year and half later she would be able to do some writing.  However, I was wrong.  I do not believe she could even write her name.  When she first came home she had trouble following a straight line or making a circle and I never saw her draw any pictures.  I am going to make a guess that she truly did not do any writing/drawing/coloring in China.  I think she did learn to read some but not write or draw.  

After she got home she started school right away.  Each day she came home with a paper.  They were filled with a few scribbles here and there but no pictures, no letters, not even her name was on the paper... honestly Austin could have done a better job on those first few papers.  There was dot to dots where the dots were never connected and again random scribbles covered what should have been a picture.     
   
This was all before the Christmas break.  Over Christmas break something amazing happened.  For our trip to NY, I had given each of the kids a pad of paper partly because that is something I usually do on long trips but I was also secretly hoping it would spur Mia to draw.  I was a bit disappointed that she never used it....the whole drive to NY... nope, the whole time in NY...nope.  

But driving home (in fact, we were almost home at this point), Ashlyn and Mia both had their pads of paper.  All of a sudden Mia proudly displays her paper and of course I have to crane my neck to see it.  She has made a picture of a person...now it was a very crude drawing (maybe something a 3 year old would make) but it was a drawing none the less and I couldn't have been more pleased...I made Adam who was driving even take a look.  From nothing to something... it was amazing.

Mia's first drawing (1/1/13)

 

Yesterday was her first day back at school from break and both days she has brought home papers.  I thought I was going to cry when I saw her paper yesterday.  She was suppose to draw and write about her break.  She drew a picture of the family and wrote about a gazillion letters.  Every line was filled.  Her name was written at the top exactly where it should go.  It looked like a real school paper.  Such progress!!!! 

Mia's first real school paper (1/7/13)

And the back:)

Communicating and beginning to write is great but her adjustment to our family and our adjustment to her has seen the biggest improvement.  Now don't get me wrong I think she has been happy with us from the start but now we are starting to jell as a family.  For the first few weeks it did feel like we had an extra guest in the house.  

Ashlyn and Mia spent a lot of time together in China and had some good moments of interacting together but I don't think they really bonded together like I had hoped.  Sure, they posed great for pictures but it wasn't instant sisterhood like I had envisioned for them.  

Ryan did a wonderful job when we first came home and still does in his big brother role and some ways has been the first to really bond with Mia.  

Austin and Mia have a love hate relationship.  I don't think Mia realizes just how much older she is then Austin.  They are the two I have to keep my eye on when they are together.  In the beginning she would tell Austin "no" ALL THE TIME which was probably deserved but not helping her relationship with her little brother.  I have had to tell her to let me worry about "Didi" (little brother).  Fortunately, this has gotten better.  

They do bond together over bath time.  They both love to take a bath every single morning after they get up.  They are learning to share toys through their bath time together and be in close proximity and actually enjoy it:)  The other day I overheard Mia singing in Chinese in the bath tub and Austin was singing along with her.  It was the cutest thing ever.  And when I pick Mia up from school at lunch time, Mia always says, "hi Didi" and Austin always says, "hi Mia."  They are truly glad to see each other.

Back to Ashlyn and Mia.  They have gotten along just fine and they sleep in the same room.  But that was it.  I wondered if I was being fair to Ashlyn by having her suddenly have to share a room.  However, I don't wonder that anymore.  For the first time there are spending time together in their room by themselves.  When I check on them I am amazed.  They are on the floor wrestling and giggling (Ashlyn letting Mia win the wrestling match), the two snuggled up in one of the bed's together watching a video on the ipad while hugging each other, reading books together, or just playing.  Ashlyn has begun to take on a big sister role and actively trying to teach Mia things.  They are becoming sisters and it is amazing to watch. 

And as for myself....I have fallen in love.  In the beginning I was overwhelmed. There was so much extra noise and chaos (Mia can be loud and energetic and combine that with our other 3 and oh boy!). There were times where it was hard for me to truly appreciate our new family of 6.  

Over these last few weeks, however, Mia has truly become a member of our family.  And not just on paper.  She has brought increased joy and life into our home.  She has adapted to so many new things.  It is starting to feel like she has always been with us.  I love her so much and couldn't imagine life without 
her.
 

 I am so blessed to have two awesome daughters.

 Mia and Ashlyn on Christmas Eve

 The girls were being so quiet in their room and so when I checked on them this is what I found.  Mia was fast asleep.

Austin (otherwise known as Didi) on Christmas Day.  I love my red-headed boy!

After driving home to Ohio on Jan. 1st we had more Christmas waiting for us.

           Mia and Ryan after her first Tae Kwon Do class.  She wanted to do this so badly.  Ryan is the best big brother. 

It's Christmas time

 Christmas time is such a busy time for us.  Fortunately, Mia loves to be busy.  Her file had mentioned that "she likes to go many places."  I am realizing just how true this is.  When we asked her foster mother what she was afraid of, she said, "nothing."  This is also true.  

Mia has done so much these last few weeks.  She has attended several Christmas parties and festivities, started her 4th week of school, gone rollerskating, watched the Nutcracker, gone to the zoo to see the wildlights, sang on stage at church and smiled through many Christmas photo attempts (sorry Christmas photos just didn't happen this year).  

She is learning English and amazing me with new words and phrases each day.  And she understands a ton now. 

She has also begun to learn the alphabet.   I think she knows at least half her letters/sounds (everyday we eat lunch while watching the Letter Factory Video...an added bonus is that Austin is learning his letters too) and is slowly but surely beginning to write her letters (so far Aa, Bb, Cc, i, and M).  I don't think she had much practice writing/coloring/drawing in China and had a lot of trouble in the beginning.  She couldn't even draw a circle.  So, I "make" her write a page of letters each day and she is making progress.  One of the best tips (got this from her kindergarten teacher) is to use a highlighter to make the letters and then let Mia trace with a pencil.  This has worked wonderfully for her. 

Her favorite letter is "B" because it stands for "Baba" and I am beginning to think that is the only thing it stands for in her mind. 

 Here Mia is singing on stage at our church.  She is standing on the middle right side next to the candle decoration in the pink dress.  Ashlyn is above her in a pink dress and Ryan is on the top row second from the left.  She amazed me with how well she did on stage.  She was a pro!  This definitely ranks as one of my top proud parent moments. 

 Getting ready to hang Christmas ornaments bought in China.

 Hanging the ornaments.

 It is kind of blurry but if you come to my house on a Friday night this is what you might see.  Hot chocolate and a movie.  Although, just as likely they are in jammies snuggled on the floor with pillows and blankets. 

 Adam's work puts on a children's Christmas party each year complete with balloons, breakfast, Santa, presents, and crafts.  They do such a great job.
 
 At the work Christmas Party.  One of my favorites.
All of us with Santa.  Austin wanted nothing to do with him and Mia couldn't jump in his lap fast enough.

 Going to the Columbus Zoo to see the wildlights.  So fun!

 Mia loves to help me in the kitchen.  Making sugar cookies on this day.

 Attempting a Christmas photo.

 And then Mia started to do this.

 Followed by this... so cute!

 I love this picture of Mia with Nana and Papa.  They took care of the boys while we were in China and then spent Thanksgiving with us.  Mia hasn't seen them since Thanksgiving but she talks about them ALL the time.

Our family of 6. 

One more attempt at the perfect photo...oh well.

I love that a new stocking has been added this year.

Our Adoption Video - 2012

We've been home now for nearly 3 weeks - just long enough to put together a video chronicling our adoption adventures. I hope you enjoy and share in our new blessing.

Adoption Video - 2012 from Adam Schrader on Vimeo.

First days

This is Ginny.

In the last 3 days Mia has gone to her first day of Sunday School at church and her first two days of Kindergarten.  Amazing!!!

Before getting Mia I had no idea how we would transition her to school.  Should we start her right away (this was what the school wanted), at least wait until the new year (this was my thought), or wait for the new school year so she would at least know some English.  Our social worker suggested we might even need to wait a year or two.  Come to find out there is really no right answer to this...everybody does it differently. 

Last week Ryan and Ashlyn had school on Monday and Tuesday.  On Monday as they were getting ready for school I noticed Mia was getting ready too.... uh oh.  How do I explain this to her???  We had tried using Google translator during our time in China and she paid no attention to it so I had no way to tell her what was happening.  She even put her shoes on and found her backpack.  She smiled big and thought she was going too.  She even tried to stuff Ryan's lunch into her backpack.  I had no idea what to do or how to explain to her what was going on.

As they ran out the door for the bus, Mia stood looking out the window with the saddest face.  After a few moments I remembered her love for baths and announced bath time for her and Austin.  Of course, I had to show her for her to understand but that definitely did the trick and her frown turned into a smile.  Later she got to go shopping with Nana to get new sneakers and new boots (we held off from buying new shoes in China) and so the day turned into a stellar one for Mia.  She loved shopping!  She loved getting new shoes!  And she loved getting new boots!   

Based on her reaction on Monday, I decided to let her "visit" her school on Tuesday.  Adam and I both brought her in and she met many adults.  It was a bit overwhelming for her (and for me) but also very sweet and touching that so many of the adults in the building were excited to meet her.  It was decided that she should start school on the following Monday (after the Thanksgiving holiday).  Mia seemed confused as to why she couldn't stay longer that day. 

I was glad when Wednesday came and everyone would be home.  Adam's parents have been with Ryan and Austin since before we left for China and continued to stay with us to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Danielle (Adam's youngest sister came) as well as my sister Leandra.  It was a full house and Mia loved it.  Basically, she went from family member to family member begging for whatever electronic they would let her use.  Laptop computer, ipad, iphone, DSI, Leappad...yep, just one to another.  Can you think of a better way to bond?

At one point Leandra started using the google translater with Mia.  I tried to let Leandra know it wouldn't work and not to waste her time but before I had a chance she was already using it and Mia was responding to it.  Maybe it is working now because it is the only Chinese she is hearing so her ears are more attuned to it?  But whatever the reason it has made things so much easier.

We are communicating with her in a couple of ways.  She has already learned lots of English words (she knew no English when we got her).  She understands- eat, all done, bye bye, hello, brush teeth, time for bed, potty, just a minute, go get a hairbrush (lots of simple things).  And words that she says a lot in Chinese that we have learned- all done, mine!, pee pee, look at me!  We usually have hand signals that we use too....running our finger back and forth along our teeth to demonstrate brush teeth, rubbing our belly to demonstrate being full, etc..  She has learned to do this as well to help us understand her. 

For the most part I think we are understanding her basic needs (hungry, tired, thirsty, bathroom, want to watch Ni Hao Kai Lan (you know the important stuff) but there is still so much she says that we don't know and all we can do is nod and tell her yeah.  That works some times and other times she just keeps repeating the same thing over and over with obvious frustration.  Fortunately, those moments are fairly few and far between but whenever they occur I wonder how much longer till she learns English and then I start thinking about that and trying to tune out the fact that I can't answer her correctly.  And to be perfectly honest, those moments have been by far the hardest part for me and I am sure for Mia too. 

But ahhh, the google translator has become our life saver!!!!  It has saved us from several melt downs I am sure!  Being able to speak into it and tell her what is going on or telling her that yes, she can do X but first we need to do Y has been invaluable.  We have tried to also have her speak into it but maybe because she speaks Mandarin with a Guizhou accent or because she isn't speaking slowly or clearly enough that just isn't working. 

We decided to go to church yesterday.  I had no idea what to do with her.  Would she go to a class or sit with us in the big service.  Should I stay with her in her class or have Ashlyn go with her or have her go to Ashlyn's class or maybe have Ryan go with her.... so many possibilities and again I didn't know the right answer.  So before we left I got out the google translator.  I first told her, "we are going to church today."  Then, "Ryan will go to his class," "Ashlyn will go to her class," Austin will go to his class."  Before I could go any further, Mia said, "Jin Guo Guo wada ........." and I recognized her name and the word "mine" and knew she was asking what about her and her class.  So, I then told her, "Mia will go to her class" and she got the biggest grin on her face. 

We got to church and dropped Austin off first.  As we were rounding the hallway for Mia's classroom we saw all these cute faces peering out of the door of her classroom just waiting for her.  I wish I had a camera ready because it was the cutest thing.  Mia was basically beside herself to go and waved and smiled at us when we said goodbye.  When we came to pick her up the teacher had a big smile and said she did great!  We honestly had no idea how she would do and were so relieved and also felt better about sending her to school the next day.

We got in the car and then out of nowhere (well I am sure somewhere but we couldn't understand) she completely melted down.  I have no idea why but she cried (similar to how she cried that one day in China) and then after a few minutes settled down and was absolutely fine again.

On Monday she was so excited to go to school.  She got herself dressed and ready in no time.  Ryan and Ashlyn left first on the bus and then Adam and I drove her to school.  We walked her to her classroom.  Her teacher showed her where her backpack and coat go and where her seat was.  Mia was ready and we said goodbye.  When I picked her up her teacher told me she did great and will adjust very well!  yeah!!! 

We got in the car and she was definitely trying to tell me something and I definitely did not understand.  We got home and she melted down (again not sure why??).  Fortunately, after a few minutes she composed herself and was fine. 

We had a great afternoon while Austin napped.  We watched the Letter Factory video while eating Ramen Noodles, colored, did a puzzle, played starfall on the computer, read a couple of books and just hung out together.  After spending close to 2 hours with her and Austin was still sleeping I thought I would slip away to clean bathrooms.  Mia followed me to the bathroom and insisted on helping...ummmm really I thought, she will be bored after the first bathroom (there are 3 to clean).  Nope, she got more into it with each one and seemed to enjoy herself more cleaning toilets than during any of the other activities we did earlier.  I am still not sure what to make of that.   

And today she went to her second day of kindergarten.  I was a little bit nervous that the meltdown the day before might hinder her wanting to go today and wondered if she would still be as excited on the second day.  I shouldn't have worried because she dropped off great again.  When I picked her up the teacher again said she did great, did everything she was suppose to, and will adjust really well. 

And the best part was there was no meltdown afterwards!  I know things are overwhelming and I can't wrap my mind around it but she is determined to move forward and to enjoy herself despite all the obstacles trying to hold her back.  Can I just say she amazes me!

Tonight she watched the tail end of Ryan and Ashlyn's Tae Kwon Do class.  She LOVED it and was trying to mimic the kids in the class.  I have a feeling she will be asking to start that soon too.

Some have asked how she is making out with one hand.  We like to call it a big arm and a little arm.  And she uses both to do everything she needs to do.  There are a couple of things she has trouble with (starting the zipper on her coat, taking caps of markers, buckling her seatbelt and honestly those are the ONLY things I can think of) but I am realizing they are things she probably didn't have to do in China and so they are new to her.  Most things she can do by herself.  One thing she can do by herself is peel an orange...have you ever tried to peel an orange with one hand?  Mia makes it look easy.  If she wants to do it she will find a way. 

 

Getting ready for her first day of school.

Hurry up mom!

 

 

 

 

Thankful

Here is an update of Mia from the Nana's viewpoint for all those going through withdrawal of posts.

I know this is very prejudicial but this little girl is amazing! Everything in her world has changed dramatically and she is rolling with it. There are times she gets upset but it is usually because she doesn't understand what is happening. That is not a frequent thing thankfully & her attitude quickly adjusts which is impressive. She has a fun personality that can be seen through the language barrier. She is like a little sponge soaking up all our love.

Mia had no knowledge of computers or technology before she came into this family. Can I say she is adjusting just fine. She is Ryan's little sister and Adam's daughter after all :-) She loves some of the apps on our phones, games & such on the iPad.  She often comes to me to climb on my lap...only to find out she wants to check my computer. She has watched the video of herself coming down the slide about 100 times...and counting! She repeats..."Ryan said ok" which is heard in the clip. 

Tuesday Mia went to school to meet her teachers and see her classroom. She was a bit overwhelmed by  the entourage' of 10 adults all trying to see her at the same time....needless to say they are very excited to have her in school.  She will get quiet and appear shy when in those kind of situations, but she seemed generally disappointed she didn't stay longer. 

Ginny was very pleased with her teacher/teachers who will be working with her. They are very caring & willing to make sure she is adjusting.  Mia will be in kindergarten for the mornings starting next week! She is an eager learner and I am sure she will do great.

When Mia is excited it is funny to see her get louder and louder trying to make herself understood. She also will go to each of one of us to tell the same story over and over again. Wish we knew what she was trying to say....that time will come...just not soon enough.

Mia is bonding very nicely with all of us. She calls us by name usually rather loudly. She is genuinely happy most of the time...downright silly about simple things and just a joy. 

Ryan is very gentle with her and you can tell she enjoys her "gaga", big brother and vice versa.
"Deedee", little brother is Austin. Mia has quickly learned to say "no" to him as he tries to steal the iPhone or iPad from her. They both converse in a language unknown to all of us. 
Hopefully, Mia will learn English instead of Austin learning Chinese...although anything is possible:/ 

Ashlyn, Jiejie, is happy to be home with all her friends in the neighborhood. She is willing sharing them with Mia who is quite the celebrity with the little girls.  The other day a little girl came to the door to play with Mia...she had never met her before but wanted to play.  Then another little girl came over and she quickly started counting in Chinese to Mia to show off her skill of the Chinese language.  The school where the kids attend are having after school classes in Chinese & the first graders are all doing it as a special during their school day. 

Five years ago,  Adam and Ginny told us of their plans to adopt from China. At the time, we had to keep it a secret from the rest of the family until they could announce it to everyone else.  
During that time, Danielle and I would just look at each other and our eyes would fill with tears!  
I think we get to feel the very heart of God when we love on an orphan which is why it moves our hearts to tears.  Just a small piece of His amazingly love.
To see her precious face and be able to wrap our arms of love around her is an amazing gift to us.  
As the blessed Nana, I am privileged to be a part of this whole adventure.  

 Intense iPhone playing

 Silly faces...well, at least for me

 She took this picture of Ryan...she was having fun with my camera phone

 Self portrait

She was making Ashlyn say "cheese"

HOME!!!

Hey everyone... sorry for not posting for a few days. I'm going to blame the jet lag for my procrastination...

Anyways, we made it home!! Our total travel time was over 24 hours from when we left our hotel to when we arrived back into Columbus, OH. Thankfully, our daughters both did great coming home...  our 14 hour flight from Hong Kong to Chicago went about as well as could be imagined, with the minor disappointments of turbulence for the first 2 hours (i.e. no food/drink service for a while), and also not having the personal entertainment consoles in each of the chairs like we had going over... I know... minor minor issues. We ended up going thru customs, which was remarkably EASY! We handed the customs official our sealed envelope from the US consulate, and were ushered over to a separate room, where another nice official came, stamped the papers a couple of times, and congratulated us on her citizenship. After that, we had to go back through security, and then, we ended up at the nice playground in O'Hare for about 3 hours. Overall, it was an exhausting, but uneventful day.

We finally brought Mia home around 7:30 pm and she was somewhat overwhelmed with the jet lag, meeting new family members (brothers, grandparents), and from seeing her new home. She was ecstatic, but also exhausted.

Now we're onto the part of the adoption called real life :) We're going to be keeping her home this next week during Thanksgiving holiday, and then getting her enrolled in school starting next week Monday... so it should be fun!

Our 747 getting prepped for our flight home

Mia after landing in Chicago (and becoming a US Citizen)

Three of our kids enjoying cake pops from Starbucks this morning

My mother and Mia after we arrived into the Columbus airport

Mommy and Mia relaxing together at home

Our new daughter :)



Day 15: And away we go...

We're about 20 minutes away from checking out of our hotel in Guangzhou to begin the process of coming home. We first head back over to the US consulate office to get Mia's visa and documentation package... Then it's off to Hong Kong for the night. Tomorrow, we head to the airport for our 11am flight out to Chicago - which comically lands around the exact same time... Just 15 hours later... Then a 5 hr layover in O'Hare, then our quick flight back to Columbus... Sounds easy... Right?!?