Happy 8th Birthday Mia!

 

On August 5th, 2013 we celebrated Mia's 8th birthday.  It also marked 9 months since we brought her home and exactly 3 years from the date she was found (August 4th, 2010) and enrolled in the city's orphanage (August 5th, 2010).... hence the reason she was given the birthday of August 5th.  

I find it interesting that both Mia and Austin were in the hospital during the same time frame (summer of 2010 was when I was on hospital bed rest with Austin for 2 months).  After he was born he spent a month in the NICU and came home in early October.  Mia spent 2-3 months in the hospital after she was found so from August- October or November.   

Mia seems to remember that she was in a hospital in China (even though she was sedated for a lot of it) and is very curious about her tracheotomy scar on her neck.  One day she was holding a hand mirror and admiring how long her hair was getting when she noticed the scar.  I am not sure if it was the first time she noticed it or not.  Since then she has asked me about it periodically.  She wants to know, "what happened?"  As far as I can tell she has no memory of her accident or her life before her accident.  From what I have been told trauma can block out memories and I am pretty sure her accident must have been pretty traumatic.  Maybe someday she will remember.  It does sadden me that she can't remember her birth family at all...especially considering she spent 5 plus years with them.  I do know they must have taken very good care of her and loved her very much as evidenced by her sweet personality.  She inherited many great qualities from her birth family....an outgoing personality, a determined spirit, a fearless attitude, and is extremely photogenic:)  There have been so many times I have thought, "I wish they could see her now."  They would be so proud of her.

Back to Mia's birthday.  Mia has been looking forward to her birthday ever since January.... since that is when Ryan and Ashlyn had their birthday.  We didn't do a lot for their birthdays.  Ryan went out with some friends to lunch and a movie and Ashlyn had a sleepover with a couple of friends but other than that we didn't make a big deal out of it.  Even so, Mia could not wait for their big day to be over!  All day long, she kept asking me if their birthday was over yet (Ryan's was on Jan. 11th and Ashlyn's was on Jan. 13th).  And when I told her it wasn't over yet, she was visibly upset:)  Someone mentioned that I should celebrate her half-birthday.  While it sounded like a good idea.... I was tired, I was overwhelmed and at that point so much of my energy already revolved around Mia (and Austin) that I could barely celebrate Ryan and Ashlyn's actual birthday. 

On our calendar at home we cross out the dates after they are over.  Mia noticed this (she notices everything actually).  She noticed how we cross off all the dates after they are finished including crossing off Ryan and Ashlyn's birthday after it was over.  Even though her English still wasn't that great (she had only been home 2 months) she made it very clear that when her birthday came we were NOT to cross it off afterwards.  Too funny:)

So, knowing how important her birthday was to her I decided we should celebrate on her actual birthday (even though it fell on a Monday).  We rented out a pavilion at a park and had pizza, ice cream and a pink Power Ranger's cake.  Mia loved every moment of it.  In fact, I have never seem someone enjoy their own birthday quite as much as she did.  She LOVED it!!!  

Ashlyn knew just what Mia would love to have for her birthday:)

Ryan, not so much:)

She also had her ears pierced on her birthday. 

A few weeks ago, Mia went on her first vacation as a Schrader....she is such a great traveler!

We stayed at the BIG BLUE house in the OBX

Mia loved the beach

Loved the ocean

Really loved the ocean!

 

 

 

But the best part of vacation is family...

 

Mia has the best cousins ever!!

 

Having fun at home



And then more cousin time!!!

 

 

Fun at Durand Beach on Lake Ontario

 

So thankful the kids had so much cousin time this summer!

FAM JAM 2013 at Victory Highway.... on the last night these kids got to put ice cream on papa's head!!!

In the midst of the fun, Mia found time to get her teeth cleaned at Papa's office

 

 

Look mom.... No cavities!!!!

 

 

Japanese steakhouse (night before Mia's birthday) was a hit with everyone!

 

 

 

Austin loved it too!!

 

 



It has taken a while but these two have become such good buddies.  It has been neat to watch their relationship form over the last few months.  In the beginning there was a lot of jealousy between the two and I worried how adopting out of birth order would play out.  Later it became sort of a monkey see, monkey do relationship where whatever one was doing the other had to do it too....and now they just like being together. 

 

I can't say it enough.... I love my family!!! 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tae Kwon Do, Reading, and Mia's New Arm



Mia has been taking Tae Kwon Do since the beginning of January.  She was so excited to be able to put on a uniform and do this.  A couple of weeks ago Mia tested for her modified yellow belt.  The reason it was modified was because she still needs a lot of help with her form and one steps.  She did receive an award... The Indomitable Spirit Award.  Definitely well earned!

 

 

Mia has been making tons of progress with her learning.  She has learned her alphabet and can write her letters.  Some of the letters she still has trouble saying (for instance the letter "X" is hard for her to say and it comes out "S") but she knows them all.  

 

She has also started reading!!!  The top four books are books she brings home from her ESL (English as a second language) class at school.  She probably has a dozen or more of these books since almost every time she has her ESL class (three times a week) she brings another one home.  We read them together every day.  These are the four that she can read all by herself.  The bottom three are Bob books.  I had two different people recommend these and so we thought we would give them a try.  She can read these three all by herself.  She has a fantastic memory and loves school and that helps a lot!    

 

 

 

Last Thursday, Mia, myself and Ashlyn made the three and a half hour trip back to Shriners in Lexington.  We left early in the morning (around 5:30) but hit traffic, several accidents (the roads were icy in some areas), and Mia also got car sick several times.  Note for next time....bring a change of clothes. 

 

I emptied our food bag out as quickly as I could while I was driving.   She threw up in it and promptly set it on the floor and then continued to throw up all over herself, her jacket and Ashlyn's jacket which Ashlyn had given her.  Meanwhile, I am driving through busy traffic with no way of stopping.  Fortunately, Ashlyn was able to locate my emergency stash of paper towels in the storage area of the car and sort of help her clean up. 

 

With all that said we arrived at 9:30 (30 minutes late).  I ended up dropping the girls off at the door while I parked since Mia was now down to a tank top and that was it!  Ashlyn still had her clothes but was also jacketless.  I washed Mia's dress in the bathroom and then used her dress as a wash cloth to wipe off her pants.  Fun times!!  A wonderful person at Shriners ended up giving Mia two brand new t-shirts and a Sponge Bob sweatshirt.  When I asked her how much I owed her for everything she said, "nothing."  I have I mentioned before that Shriner's is awesome. 

 

Mia has gone back and forth about wanting an arm.  Initially, she was very clear that she only wanted one arm and did not want this helper arm.  I questioned myself so many times as to the right thing to do.  In the end I decided we should at least give it a try even if she isn't on board. 

 

I had not talked to Mia very much about the new arm.  I casually mentioned that we were going back to see Mr. Chris again soon and she would get her Hello Kitty arm.  Mia seemed indifferent.  I did not push it or make a big deal about it.  Then, the night before we left I matter of factly told her what we would be doing the next day (I definitely did not play it up or make a big deal about it).  She responded with a very excited, "Yeah!"  I was very surprised to say the least.

 

During the long morning car ride, she mentioned several times that she could not wait any longer... she was excited for a her new arm.  Unfortunately, that all changed as soon as Mr. Chris put it on.  It felt very tight and heavy and she was almost in tears.  She wanted it off!  But instead of taking it off she had to go spend some time with the Occupational Therapist for a little bit of training.  She was cooperative (barely) but definitely unhappy.

 

Fortunately, the training did not last long and then she was able to play in the big playroom.  She wanted her arm off and I tried to brush her off and say later.  As soon as she started playing she totally got distracted and did much better.  She had a lot of fun playing with another kid (a boy probably about Ryan's age).  They were playing with the cars that run on tracks and you use a remote to operate them.  She loved it and the boy made it so fun.  She forgot all about the discomfort of wearing her new arm.  

 

After that we decided to go to the cafeteria for lunch.  Mia again wanted her arm off but when I said, "later" she did not push it.  At the cafeteria we piled up two trays of chicken and hotdogs, pudding desserts, chips and drinks.  When it was time to pay I pulled out my debit card.  The cashier said, we only take cash.  Oops, I didn't bring any cash.  She said, "No problem.  Enjoy your lunch."  Again, have I mentioned how wonderful Shriner's is?

 

After lunch it was time to head home.  I was planning on taking her arm off but as we were leaving she said, "I want to show Daddy my Hello Kitty arm" and I realized she was planning on keeping it on.  In fact, she did not want to put the sweatshirt on because she didn't want to cover it up.  She was proud of it!  She ended up keeping it on for seven hours.

 

The next day she was happy to put her arm back on and wear it to school.  She was excited to show her teacher.  But as soon as it was on she started complaining and wanted to take it off.  One of the ideas I got from a friend was to reward her with glow-in-the-dark stars for each day she wears her arm (at least for the first few weeks).  This has been the perfect incentive (plus it was only $4 for a bag of 50 stars!).  Her arm was heavy and tight and does take some getting use to.  I don't think I would have gotten her to wear it those first few days without this reward.  Each day I mentioned putting it on and she did not want to.  I told her that was fine.  She can do what she wants but if she wants a star she needs to wear it.  And that was all I needed to say.  Now, I didn't expect her to wear it all day but at least for a few hours.  

 

So far, her arm has helped her ride her scooter.... yeah!!!  We haven't tried a bike yet but a new bike might be coming in the near future.  We currently don't have a bike at home with training wheels.  Although today she said she wants Ashlyn's bike.  Ashlyn quickly agreed and said Mia could have it and she would just get a new bike (apparently Ashlyn has outgrown the princess theme which is her current bike).  Ryan was listening in and offered to give Ashlyn his bike and he would suffer with a new one.  What sharing and thoughtful children I have:)   She has also learned to bat using her new arm...she was super excited about this!  She loves to play baseball!  She also uses her arm to help me cook in the kitchen.  The picture below shows her helping me make cookies.  And I was thrilled that I didn't have to hold the bowl for her.   Tonight we went roller skating with our church.  At one point Adam took her right hand and I took her Hello Kitty hand and the three of us skated together.  That was so cool!    

 

And the best part is, today she told me her arm doesn't hurt anymore.  Awesome!  I don't think it really hurt before but was uncomfortable and hurt is the closest word she knows to tell me that.  And the second best part is that she can now take her arm off and put it on herself.  Yeah!!!  And she seems happy to do so.  So, how much will she end up using this new arm.  I guess only time will tell.      



 

 

 

 

 

 

Mia's Dedication & Shriners

This last week has been busy but in a really good way.  My sister and her kids came to visit for several days.  And it just so happened to coincide with the same Sunday our church was doing "Baby" Dedications.  We have had all of our kids dedicated soon after they were born and it only seemed natural to have Mia dedicated as well. 



At home before the dedication.  On a side note... I think I finally got a good Christmas picture.  Unfortunately, it is just a couple of months late.




I think in the past this has been called "Baby Dedications."  Maybe they changed it to "Child Dedications" for us:)

Sisters

 



It is so neat that my sister and I both have boys born so close together (less then 4 months apart).  

And girls born close together.  Christina (on the far left) was born 23 days after Ashlyn.

We celebrated at Red Robin after church.  Poor Ryan...fortunately, he handles the biggest kid role well.  

 

 On Thursday morning we said goodbye to my sister and her kids.  On Thursday afternoon Mia and I drove to Shriner's in Lexington (about 3 and a half hours) for her appointment on Friday morning at 9:00am. 

This was my first time at a Shriner's hospital.  Given that I have zero experience with prosthetics,  I really had no idea what to expect.  I was very impressed.  Just walking in the front door into the waiting area it was easy to see this place really cares about kids. 

We saw "Mr. Chris" who gave us all of the prosthetic options for Mia.  For instance, she could have an arm that looks like an arm and hand but really has very little function.  Maybe it would help her hold her paper down at school and small things like that.  Then we were shown the arm with the hook which has lots of function but definitely lacks in the looks department.  We were also shown a Myoelectic arm which while it is a very cool arm it is also very heavy and would take a lot of training.  Plus, it is very expensive and we would want to know that she really wanted it first.  We ended up choosing the hybrid.  It is a cross between the arm/hand that look like an arm/hand and the hook arm.  Basically, the hand is in the pincer grasp position (thumb and first 2 fingers) and Mia will be able to use her shoulders to open and close it.     

They did x-rays and decided she does indeed have an elbow but not much past the elbow.  It will be tricky for Mia to bend her elbow with a prosthetic given how soft the tissue is past her elbow.  He said her range of motion will be limited because of this.  However, he said he has some "tricks up his sleeve" and will try to do what he can to give her the most mobility with it. 





I really have no idea how much Mia will benefit from this arm.  Mr. Chris said that most kids find it cumbersome, heavy, hot (basically a pain) and do not want to wear it.  This is especially true if they already can do everything they want to do without it.  The kids that do tend to wear it regularly are the kids that have found certain things that they can do better with a prosthetic.  I am hoping that this "helper arm" will help Mia ride a scooter and a bike.  If this is the only thing it helps her with it will be well worth it. 

 

Mia was casted for her new arm and was even able to choose fabric for it.  And even though she was telling me she only wants one arm (I can tell that she is not completely sure whether she wants this or not), she did put her request in for it to be a Hello Kitty arm.  Today when she was outside trying to ride a scooter (for the hundredth time) I kept thinking I really wish she had her "helper arm" now and I really hope it helps her to ride this scooter. 

 

After Mr. Chris makes her arm we will go back to Shriner's for several days to be fitted and have training on her arm.  They will have us come on a Sunday evening so we can start the fitting on Monday morning.  Mia will have 2 sessions of training each day probably staying until Thursday.  We were told to bring the scooter with us so they can work with her on riding it.  

 

     

The Waiting area.  Mia's is in the background on the little car.  

 

 
 

 

Mr. Chris making the marks and measurements.  He used her right hand/arm to measure everything (length of her arm, length of her fingers, etc.). 

 

 Casting for her "helper arm." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Chinese New Year

We had such a fun time celebrating Chinese New Year. 

In the morning, Adam and Mia cuddled on a chair and watched you tube videos of different dragon dances and celebrations of Chinese New Year.  Mia seemed to really enjoy this. 

Then we had a very unChinese like breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes.  But, Mia likes them now (she didn't when she first came home).  As the kids were finishing their breakfast we had them one by one wish us a Happy New Year at which point they were each given a red envelope.  This was the first red envelope for Ryan, Ashy and Austin but not for Mia.  In her photo album that we had sent over to China her foster mom added a few more pictures.  One of the pictures shows Mia with a red envelope with 100 Yuan inside (equivalent to about 17-18 US dollars).  Unfortunately, we weren't as generous.  Each kid got $10 from us.  Fortunately, I don't think Mia noticed.  At least this year. 

 

Ryan likes this new tradition

 

 

 

 Mia's first red envelope from us

 

 

Ashy and her big smile

 

Austin (not a great picture) but had to include him as well

 

After church we met up with our adoption group for a real fun celebration!  I wish I had gotten a picture of the food.  So... much... good.... Chinese food.  And everything (except for what we brought- we chickened out and grabbed sweet and sour chicken and general Tso's chicken from our local Chinese place to bring) was homemade.  We will need to get some recipes and some cooking lessons.  It was so delicious.  Even the kids were commenting on how yummy everything was. 
 
One of the families in our group actually bought and owns this Lion costume.  It was the coolest thing.  The kids had so much fun with it because it was so interactive!  The kids were able to follow it around the room, touch, play with it, drop things into its mouth only to have it spit the item back out.  Lots of fun! 

 

 More Red Envelopes were given to the kids at the party.  There was $1 inside these envelopes.  How fun!!

 Happy Chinese New Year!!!! 

 

 

 

 

Making Progress

  We are nearing the 2 month mark since coming home with Mia (11/17).  I truly cannot believe how far we have come in such a short time.  I am sure for those of you reading this it would be easy to think everything has gone perfectly.  Looking at the pictures and the video and even I forget the early struggles. 

For starters, I am amazed at how well we communicate with our new daughter now.  I remember the first day with her and feeling overwhelmed with the realization that I have a new child and she is 7 and I can understand NOTHING she says and of course the same goes for her.  

In those first few hours, Mia babbled (at least that's what it sounded like to me) on and on and I remember panicking and looking to our guide/translator for advice.  Even though I knew in my head we would not be able to carry on a conversation, I didn't fully realize how that was going to play out the first few days.  

Lots of people do what we have done and somehow they make it through.  It can't be that hard I would tell myself.  Well, I was wrong, it was hard and overwhelming.  I looked to our guide as to how I should respond to her chattering.  Our guide told me, "just smile and nod."  

Even though that was probably the right answer I cannot tell you how small that made me feel. How long would I have to "just smile and nod."  Somehow this felt wrong yet it was the only answer. 

And how did Mia react with not being able to communicate with us?  Much better then me:)  I remember thinking at least I knew this was coming.  Did she have any idea that she would not understand a word her new family was saying?  I asked our guide if she had been prepared for this part.  Did she know that this was going to be part of the package of her adoption into our American family?  Our guide's response, "well she knows now."  

Now 2 months later and I can honestly say I almost never have to "just smile and nod."  Communication has come that far.  In fact, on the rare occasion I really can't tell what she is saying I have to remind myself that it is still okay to "just smile and nod" once in a while. Otherwise, I can actually make the situation more frustrating for Mia by forcing her to explain herself over and over. 

Whenever someone is around to translate what she is saying, I am reminded that she is not just babbling but really does have good and even funny things to say. 

 Here is a video of Mia seeing her bedroom for the first time.  I found out that in the video she was saying, "This America...it's pretty good."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnuT8MTZSuA&feature=youtu.be

 Another area that Mia has made progress is with writing and drawing.  Her file written on Aug. 2011 had mentioned that she was not writing yet.  However, I thought for sure that almost a year and half later she would be able to do some writing.  However, I was wrong.  I do not believe she could even write her name.  When she first came home she had trouble following a straight line or making a circle and I never saw her draw any pictures.  I am going to make a guess that she truly did not do any writing/drawing/coloring in China.  I think she did learn to read some but not write or draw.  

After she got home she started school right away.  Each day she came home with a paper.  They were filled with a few scribbles here and there but no pictures, no letters, not even her name was on the paper... honestly Austin could have done a better job on those first few papers.  There was dot to dots where the dots were never connected and again random scribbles covered what should have been a picture.     
   
This was all before the Christmas break.  Over Christmas break something amazing happened.  For our trip to NY, I had given each of the kids a pad of paper partly because that is something I usually do on long trips but I was also secretly hoping it would spur Mia to draw.  I was a bit disappointed that she never used it....the whole drive to NY... nope, the whole time in NY...nope.  

But driving home (in fact, we were almost home at this point), Ashlyn and Mia both had their pads of paper.  All of a sudden Mia proudly displays her paper and of course I have to crane my neck to see it.  She has made a picture of a person...now it was a very crude drawing (maybe something a 3 year old would make) but it was a drawing none the less and I couldn't have been more pleased...I made Adam who was driving even take a look.  From nothing to something... it was amazing.

Mia's first drawing (1/1/13)

 

Yesterday was her first day back at school from break and both days she has brought home papers.  I thought I was going to cry when I saw her paper yesterday.  She was suppose to draw and write about her break.  She drew a picture of the family and wrote about a gazillion letters.  Every line was filled.  Her name was written at the top exactly where it should go.  It looked like a real school paper.  Such progress!!!! 

Mia's first real school paper (1/7/13)

And the back:)

Communicating and beginning to write is great but her adjustment to our family and our adjustment to her has seen the biggest improvement.  Now don't get me wrong I think she has been happy with us from the start but now we are starting to jell as a family.  For the first few weeks it did feel like we had an extra guest in the house.  

Ashlyn and Mia spent a lot of time together in China and had some good moments of interacting together but I don't think they really bonded together like I had hoped.  Sure, they posed great for pictures but it wasn't instant sisterhood like I had envisioned for them.  

Ryan did a wonderful job when we first came home and still does in his big brother role and some ways has been the first to really bond with Mia.  

Austin and Mia have a love hate relationship.  I don't think Mia realizes just how much older she is then Austin.  They are the two I have to keep my eye on when they are together.  In the beginning she would tell Austin "no" ALL THE TIME which was probably deserved but not helping her relationship with her little brother.  I have had to tell her to let me worry about "Didi" (little brother).  Fortunately, this has gotten better.  

They do bond together over bath time.  They both love to take a bath every single morning after they get up.  They are learning to share toys through their bath time together and be in close proximity and actually enjoy it:)  The other day I overheard Mia singing in Chinese in the bath tub and Austin was singing along with her.  It was the cutest thing ever.  And when I pick Mia up from school at lunch time, Mia always says, "hi Didi" and Austin always says, "hi Mia."  They are truly glad to see each other.

Back to Ashlyn and Mia.  They have gotten along just fine and they sleep in the same room.  But that was it.  I wondered if I was being fair to Ashlyn by having her suddenly have to share a room.  However, I don't wonder that anymore.  For the first time there are spending time together in their room by themselves.  When I check on them I am amazed.  They are on the floor wrestling and giggling (Ashlyn letting Mia win the wrestling match), the two snuggled up in one of the bed's together watching a video on the ipad while hugging each other, reading books together, or just playing.  Ashlyn has begun to take on a big sister role and actively trying to teach Mia things.  They are becoming sisters and it is amazing to watch. 

And as for myself....I have fallen in love.  In the beginning I was overwhelmed. There was so much extra noise and chaos (Mia can be loud and energetic and combine that with our other 3 and oh boy!). There were times where it was hard for me to truly appreciate our new family of 6.  

Over these last few weeks, however, Mia has truly become a member of our family.  And not just on paper.  She has brought increased joy and life into our home.  She has adapted to so many new things.  It is starting to feel like she has always been with us.  I love her so much and couldn't imagine life without 
her.
 

 I am so blessed to have two awesome daughters.

 Mia and Ashlyn on Christmas Eve

 The girls were being so quiet in their room and so when I checked on them this is what I found.  Mia was fast asleep.

Austin (otherwise known as Didi) on Christmas Day.  I love my red-headed boy!

After driving home to Ohio on Jan. 1st we had more Christmas waiting for us.

           Mia and Ryan after her first Tae Kwon Do class.  She wanted to do this so badly.  Ryan is the best big brother.